Having two kids has been a whirlwind.. but the best kind of chaos. For almost two years, it was just my husband, our toddler, and me figuring out this whole parenting thing. We had a routine that made life feel busy but manageable. But Sachin and I both wanted to have a second baby so that our toddler has a sibling, a friend to grow up with.
As soon as we had our second, we were instantly reacquainted with taking care of a newborn. I totally underestimated and forgot how much work a newborn is — waking up every two to three hours to feed, burp, and change diapers. It’s a full-time job, even in the middle of the night when you really need to sleep. Now, instead of just focusing on one kid, there are two, and they both need us — all day, all night. I didn’t realize just how hard it would be to manage both their needs at the same time.
One of the hardest adjustments for me has been sticking to our toddler’s daily routine. He wakes up around 7 or 7:30, full of energy and ready to start his day. Before the baby, I’d be there to greet him, say good morning, and get him ready. Now? I’m lucky if I can get myself out of bed by 8 or 8:30. That’s almost an hour late, and I feel so guilty every time I miss those first morning moments. I hate that I’m not there right when he wakes up. 🙁
That last part said, I recall one of the biggest pieces of advice I received was to never let your first child feel neglected. This doesn’t just mean keeping your routine consistent. It also means to have your first child get acquainted with their new sibling as much as possible.
Another thing I want to mention is that it is so important to tag team taking care of your newborn with your spouse (or other help). As you may know, taking care of a newborn at night is brutal. If one person tries to do it all alone, they’ll burn out fast. We’ve had to divide and conquer — he handles one shift, I take another. Sharing the responsibility makes it slightly more manageable.
If you’re expecting another baby or thinking about having one soon, be sure to talk about a game plan with your partner before the baby arrives. Don’t assume you’ll just figure things out as you go. Gain perspective from family and friends who have experience managing multiple children. This will come a long way in tackling those nighttime feeds, burping and changing with your partner.
Good luck momma!
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